BREAKING NEWS: Shondreesa Ate A Bullet!

Any and all blogs I have in the works must be halted for this urgent incidence.  My dealer Shondreesa is in CRITICAL condition.  PLEASE PRAY FOR HER.  KEEP HER IN YOUR THOUGHTS.  She swallowed a bullet like it wasn’t anybody biznezz early today when her tweakin ass confused a horse pill for some ammo.  Mmmm MMmm MMm DAMN SHAME but we must overlook the hot mess scenario for the bigger picture:  She is DYING.  I encourage everyone of y’all to relay this message to your friends, relatives, grandparents too, school acquaintances, fuck buddies, ex-wives, her family too, your crack dealers, your twitter followers, and whoever the fuck else you know.  Her name is Shondreesa Tompkins, she’s 23, her favorite dish is pot roast with mashed potatoes made from scratch, and she has kush for FUCKING DAYS.  She’s an independent single mother with a blessed soul… Shondreesa does not deserve this right now.  Yeah, she may like to dine and dash every Denny’s in the state or cripple bitches in the club every once in awhile but she’s an all in all good person.  At least she isn’t trying to ruin the world like Obama whatever his last name is…. Oh wait, I mean Barack Obama.  Sorry y’all I’m reallll high right now tryna write this so bear with me.  All I’m asking for is a moment out of your day to send out a prayer to my ace boon coon ridin dirty wit da shotgun tucked under the backseat Da Brat lookin azz nigga Shondreesa Tompkins of East B St.

Here’s Shondreesa:

Please let me know if you prayed for my homegirl. It’s greatly appreciated. I hold her very dear to my heart.  Homegirl deepthroated a muddafuckin bullet… she can’t go out that way.   Her child needs her.  Follow me on Twitter at @MrYellowPanties for updates on Shondreesa’s health.

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Ciara Can’t Fool Me

 

Yesterday Ciara premiered her blatantly racy video for “Ride”. I loved it. I thought Ciara looked undeniably beautiful and all but I feel as though she should have toned it down just a tad bit for commercial purposes, or at least came out with a cleaner version. I must admit I’ve seen the video probably about 30 times since yesterday. Ciara is a most formidable dancer… I believe with the “Ride” music video she really schooled her female Pop and R&B opponents however there was something about the video that had people wondering again and again: why is she so mannish? Do me a quick favor by skipping to the :34 mark in the video below and watch it for about 10 seconds… 

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Down Low Men Are Pathetic…

No, the guy in the pic and the guy in the link aren’t the same person but they’re both typical examples of what a filthy, ugly down low ass nigga looks like.  That motherfucker looks like somebody’s daddy… hell who knows, it may even be YOUR daddy.  Just take a closer look at his swollen up ass dog carcass face and let me know.  This man JUST messaged me for sex as I typed my introductory line up.  Gross.  I absolutely do not like men who aren’t comfortable with themselves, their lifestyles, and their own sexuality.  It’s a sign of cowardice and weakness.  The man in the picture above is almost 40 years old and in the closet… and he’s been living the life of a lie ever since the day he first knew he craved the taste of man pussy.  Ol’ gay ass with them dirty fucking gray pillows in the background.

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Rappers are All Talk…

I am a hardcore fan of rap.  Not ashamed.  Although, unlike most of the dimwitted society that makes up America and the world in general, I can see right through the gimmicks, the personas, the exaggeration… everything that makes up the music genre.  I don’t take a lot of rappers seriously because the lyrics they give us paint the picture of someone with MUCH more money than they have.  I was just listening to some underground St. Louis rap the other day and there’s actually amateurs rapping about riding around in Bentleys and whatever high-end car brands they can think of that rhymes with everyday, three-letter words.  Are you serious?  No one is going to take you seriously if you’re handing out mixtapes at a shitty club for less than a fivesack of Reggie Bush yet on the mixtape you’re rapping about riding down the interstate in a Bentley.

Granted, some rappers can actually afford luxury cars filled with all types of unnecessary flare like spinning rims and hydraulics, HOWEVER… most of them LEASE or LOAN cars.  That hot ass Lamborghini you saw in *insert rapper’s name*’s video isn’t really his or hers.  Come on now.  You ever seen MTV Cribs and said “Man, so-and-so has so many cars and a bad ass crib”?  Puh-lease.  A house that’s not even close to being paid off and a lot full of leased, rented, and/or used cars.  They’re not fooling anyone.  Rappers may not be fools to spending money, but the bulk of them are still in elementary stages of MANAGING their money.  You see, when celebrities get wrapped up in the fame and start going crazy with the purchases and credits and then become bankrupt like MC Hammer… they get absolutely no remorse.  It’s just dumb to live a champagne lifestyle on beer money.  I blog partly on this “issue” because I hate BOUGIE fucking people.  Don’t put on a front and say you own this, own that, killed him, killed her, stabbed him, fucked her, etc. if you haven’t fucking did it.  The whole “I’m hood certified because I shot 10 niggas” thing is a whole other immoral and fucked up issue I need to tackle but right now let’s focus more on how and why rappers incorporate these extravagant personas into their music.

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