And this bitch has a few things to say right quick. 

1.  Tell me why it’s my motherfucking birthday and I was riding on home when these damn cracker ass drivers just kept braking for no reason.  And I’m chill high right now… smoked a blizzy on the interstate like it was nothin.  Anywho, I just got road rage and started honking the shit outta my little cheesy ass car.   Apparently the bitch in front of me in her small white, pasty, mayonnaisey vehicle had a case of road rage her damn self (must’ve been the humidity, or the fact that she looked like a gym school teacher dyke… I swear I saw a whistle around her neck lol)… look at me, laughing at my own shit.  Damn shame.  The moral of this story is that this bitch is dead wrong for fucking around with me on my motherfucking birthday.  She need to get that little white ass car that matches her little white ass ass… AND GET THE FUCK OUT MY WAY.  Point blank. 

2.  IT’S MY BIRTHDAY.  I am 21 years old.  Bout to do it big.  I hit up Harrahs casino with my sponsor at midnight like my name was Teirra Mari and came outta that bitch 75 cents richer.  That Deuces Wild is my game.  Later on tonight I’m going partyin like I always do.  Friday is all planned out as well and it is gonna be amazing, I already know it.   Damn, that reminds me… got to get a bottle of vodka after this blog.  I’ve been on a bitchie budget thanks to my girl Necole Bitchie, which basically means that I’ve been living on straight up Top Ramen Beef and chips and Nestle Pure Life water for the past week.  Saving my money.  Need to get to California… always jettisoning my long term goals and aspirations for partying and whatnot.  Got to stop all that… or just a tone it down a little. 

3.  I’ve grown a little fond of straight men this like past month or so.  I find myself turned on by the psychology of it all.  I just toot the booty up and they go thrashin.  Start pouncing on me like the Lion King.  Still not sure what the fuck that lame ass sequel was all about though.  …….. I’m kind of done with this number.  I’m sitting here with my mouth open trying to squeeze out another goddamn sentence but I’d rather press on.  Love me some straight men though.

4.  I miss Claire Danes.  I think I want to rent Brokedown Palace sometime soon.  Love that movie.

5.  I’m going to start blogging more often, so if you like me like I like myself… you’ll give this little hot mess website some more hits.  Just hit it on up.  Hit it up to see them panties one more time.  Hit it up to show your aunt, or your uncle, or whoever.  Hit it up again to show your friends what a fucking faggot I am.  Because I love it when you hit me up.  Just imagine me cumming every single time you give my website a hit.  My cum moan is little soft sexy “uhhhhhh”, so just visualize me doing that next time you hop on this site. 

Uhhhhh

Uhhhhhhhhhhhh

6.   I love weed.  I don’t really understand how anyone can possibly have anything against it.  But then again… I just don’t really care about those people. 

7.  50 Piece Chicken Butt Nuggets.  50 McNuggets sounds so fucking nasty.  Is McDonalds serious about this shit?  All them fatasses parading around Mickey D’s with their case of McNuggets and fatty ass sauces to boot.  Gross.  50 McNuggets sounds like 50 fucking blood clots, like 50 new foreign body odors emanating from their fat stankin asses, 50 years off your life, 50 pounds of deep fried grease… basically it just sounds disgusting.  Like you should totally have a disgusted look on your face right now, and if you don’t then just look at these two fat heifers:

8. I just don’t care about the hate. I only listen to the love. This is regarding what people have to say about me on the Internet. I am very aware that the individuals that have time to get on my website and talk shit are just big old pussies sitting behind the family computer, thinking about me when they should be thinking about themselves. You’re on the Internet… going off on a complete stranger. It’s pointless. I am completely unaffected by the unecessary negativity.

P.S.- it’s 2010… calling a fag a fag is just like calling a girl a girl. WE DON’T CARE AND YOU ARE NOT HURTING US.

9.  Every girl on Myspace looks preggo.  Or has a picture of their big headed ass baby as their default.  When did Myspace turn into WeBeHavinBabies.com?  I have no idea as to the answer of that question but I do know that Myspace is deader than fuck.  Rest in peace.  Tom probably still sitting on that chair in that damn classroom, cheesin like crazy.  #websitefail

10. I really don’t have anything else to say. I’m a fag and I love it. It’s my birthday and I wanna give a shout out to my girl Candice because that is my girl. Can’t wait to see you tonight!

Thank you,

To any and everyone that read this. Show me some bday love in the comments if you would. Blogs coming soon. Stick tight. Love you (but love myself… just a little bit more).